Suffer For Something

A few years back I volunteered mentoring young men in the foster care system.  I met teenagers from all races who had been in the system for a large portion of their lives if not the majority.  Kids who had moved from one group home to another set of foster  parents to another group home and on and on.  I met kids who’d seen their parents murdered in other countries.  I met kids who were born addicted to drugs.  I met kids who were teenagers who hadn’t ever been to school.  Black kids, White kids, Asian kids, Hispanic kids, Pacific Island kids, etc.

As much as I felt for all of these young men, not once did I ever let them play the victim with me.  I understand it hurts.  I understand you’re frustrated.  I understand that you don’t feel understood.  I understand that a kid shouldn’t have to go through what you went through.  However, my apex concern is not your pain, but how you use your pain. 

Who are you becoming as a response to what you’ve been through?  You can be a prisoner to your past.  Lots of people who haven’t been through anywhere near the difficulty these kids had been through, make that decision.  You can also be a designer of your future.  After having been to Afghanistan, I am sure that there are young teenagers in the world who have been through worse than these kids and decided that they were going to make something good out of their hardships.  Decided that they were going to make something beautiful out of a horrific past.  

Human beings are incredibly resilient.  We forget it sometimes.  It was hard to get to this conversation with these young men but I try to get everyone to understand that past pain can be a great tool for present propulsion.  The right mindset converts adversity into the resilience to deal with anything and remain undeterred as we press towards our hopes for the future.  You’re going to suffer anyway so why not suffer for the life you want?