Making Exercise a Lifelong Habit

I have a coworker who has had bouts of fairly intense shoulder pain for the last couple of years.  We’ve talked about it so many times that now when it happens, I say to him, “This happens because you don’t exercise!”  He’s active in the sense that he plays with his kids and does yard work.  However, I’ve explained to him many times that he needs to do 2-3 focused stretches/exercises to help his shoulder be more resilient.  He used to be an athlete as a teenager and what he wants to do is jump back into doing the crazy routines he did as a young man.  Of course, when he does this he aggravates his shoulder and then he says something that sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me, “I guess I’m getting old…”

He’s a few years younger than me.  The first time he said the ‘I’m getting old’ statement I pointed out a few things to him.  I’m older than he is.  I wasn’t a good athlete growing up.  Presently, I train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu every week where young men, half our age, and in their physical prime, are trying to choke me, rip my arm off, and make my knees bend in directions they’re not supposed to.  Yet, in the over two years that this coworker has known me, I’ve never had a serious injury.  But he’s ‘getting old’.

I push him when he talks this way because I believe that part of my job as a friend is to remind him of the truth.  I also push him because I’ve probably heard the excuse of ‘getting old’ hundreds of times when people talk about why they don’t exercise and it’s getting old.  I definitely understand having responsibilities and feeling like your time is limited for such activities.  This coworker is married, has several small children at home, works full time, and has a side hustle.  I get it.  I’ve never asked him to do anything unreasonable.  As a matter of fact, I’m always looking for ways people can sneak movement into their current daily habits without feeling a sense of big change.  I ask him to give 10-15 minutes a day to a few specific stretches I’ve shown him at work.  He’s a security guard just like me.  He’s got time while at work to make this happen.

He doesn’t do the stretches but he’s come to me several times about some routine he saw online that is way too intense for where he is right now.  I get this a lot from people who want to tell me about the new crazy workout routine they’re planning to do.  I suppose they assume I’m thrashing myself in workouts all the time.  Then they assume I’m going to celebrate their decisions to thrash themselves.  But, if you’ve been sedentary for prolonged periods of time, some crazy exercise routine you saw online is not going to be sustainable.  You’ll probably get hurt, burn out, or your schedule won’t allow you to keep it up.  This is when the lies like ‘I guess I’m getting old’ become really easy to believe.  What’s probably needed for most people to feel better physically is moving a little bit more and cutting back on sugar, processed carbs, and alcohol.  

We’re not too old but our mindsets do get too fixated on a particular notion of fitness or a particular version of who we used to be in the past.  That fixation with a narrow set of circumstances prevents us from asking ourselves important questions about our current reality:

• How much time can I reasonably devote to exercise everyday?
• How long has it been since I exercised on a regular basis?
• What injuries am I currently dealing with?

My coworker could easily look up ‘resolving shoulder pain’ on YouTube and find at least 2 movements addressing his problem.  He could fit those movements into a 10-15 minute block, 3 times a week.  Even if the movements weren’t super challenging but they got him out of pain, wouldn’t that be worth it in the long run?

I’m trying to get my coworker to understand 2 things about creating a habit of exercise:

1. Don’t Lie to Yourself
   
   “I’m too old…” – If you woke up this morning you’re not too old.
   
   “I don’t have enough time…” – You have plenty of time, you’re just not using the time you have.
   
   “I don’t know what to do…” – If you don’t know what to do, get on YouTube, start searching, and experimenting.
   
   “I don’t have the right equipment…” – If you don’t have the right equipment, there are plenty of bodyweight routines that don’t require equipment.  Again, YouTube.
   
2. Small Steps Stick
   
   “I did 100 push ups last night…” – And now your shoulder feels like it’s going to explode.  Start with 5 push ups and some stretches.  Do that 3-4 times a week.  In 6 months, doing a total of 100 in a night probably won’t be an issue.
   
   “I decided to run 2 miles yesterday…” – And now you have shin splints.  Start with a walk/run for 10-15 minutes, 3-4 times a week.  In 6 months, 2 miles will be easy.
   
   “I did a brutal workout we used to do for my high school football team…” – And now your back is killing you.  Start with a simple 20-30 minute bodyweight routine and rest as needed.  Do that 3-4 times a week and in 6 months… you get the point.
   
   

Don’t lie to yourself and commit to small sustainable actions over the long haul.  That’s how exercise habits are maintained and probably how anything worth a damn is accomplished.

Furthermore and probably most important, I think what is said often, but often misunderstood, is that this is a lifelong journey.  I’ve known so many people with whom I’ve had these same conversations.  Not lying to yourself and taking small steps are no doubt important, but at some point exercise has to become a part of who you are.  It has to be a part of your identity.  People in your life should start recognizing you as someone who exercises, just like they recognize your typical style of dress or your favorite hobbies.  I can’t imagine a life where I don’t exercise.  If I have to go 5 minutes at a time throughout the entire day because of time restrictions, so be it.  This is a must do thing for me.  It’s not an option.  Until you get that shift in your mind, even if you stick to a routine for years, it’ll just be temporary.  Adversity will challenge you at some point and if it’s not a part of who you are, you will wilt under the pressure.  But when exercise is a necessary part of who you are, you strategically adapt to challenges and you express the determination to overcome obstacles as they present themselves.  This is when exercise sticks.