The movie ‘Rudy’ depicts the real life story of Daniel ‘Rudy’ Ruettiger. It is a quintessential underdog story filled with highs and lows as Rudy, who is very small in stature at 5’6” and 165 lbs, follows his dream to one day play football for the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. There are several moments of massive triumph in the movie where Rudy achieves a major milestone in the face of huge odds against him. While I love those scenes, the part of the movie that always draws tears out of me is a scene of profound sadness and worry as Rudy contemplates the possibility that his dream won’t happen. I couldn’t find any images of this particular scene online, but this clip captures the importance those emotions:
Rudy is about to quit the team after 2 years of hard work on the practice squad because his dream of suiting up for an actual game may not come true. At this point, there’s still practice being held for the final game of that season. As actor Sean Austin (who plays Rudy) says in the clip when asked why he wasn’t at practice, “I don’t know. I just don’t see the point anymore.” The disappointment of knowing you have put in a massive amount of effort over years of time only to fall short of your objective can be utterly blinding, maddening, and heartbreaking. I felt these things so many times growing up. Countless times when I was trying to lose weight I asked myself, “What’s the point of continuing to try?!”
In the film Rudy returns for his final practice after being given a stern talking to by his friend, Fortune. I’m fairly sure that this is a fictional component of the movie but it depicts the struggle between chasing a dream and experiencing massive disappointment. As Fortune says in the clip, “…I guarantee a week won’t go by in your life you won’t regret walking out, letting them get the best of you!” In my opinion, this scenario summarizes why people don’t try hard things. Life can beat you up in so many ways without pursuing some big dream. To willingly sign up for that ass kicking by chasing some dream that may never come true, is too much for most people.
Again, I know the feeling so well. The movie was released in October of 1993. This was 10 months after I had begun my journey of weight loss. As I have said many times, I struggled and failed for 7 years. I just wanted to feel better about myself and every year recommitting to the task was so hard. Particularly, going back to school after a Summertime spent thrashing myself with daily workouts only to get heavier every year. Then going right back to school to be belittled and taunted by classmates and, on rare occasions, teachers, for being overweight. It can be so demoralizing knowing how much effort you’re investing in trying to make something happen and it feels so out of reach. Then mustering the will to keep trying and keep showing up until you succeed or the window closes on the possibility.
It was so important for me to know that I did all that I could. It was so important for me to be able to face failure knowing that I gave it the best effort that I had in me with the knowledge I had. At the end of every summer I had to stand up with that broken heart and say to myself, “I will not let how I feel get the best of me! I’m going to go back to school and I’m going to get called fat, slow, and stupid… I will be laughed at for anything I try to do in sports. I will not quit. They will not get the best of me!”
This is the hardest thing for people to understand and it might be the most important of the 3 principles of ownership… Positive change is predicated on consistent action (1st Principle of Ownership). Therefore, if we let negative emotion deter our ability to exhibit consistent action, then we most certainly will never see the change we desire. This is why people don’t pursue passions. There’s absolutely no guarantee of success, while chasing anything hard will most certainly guarantee pain, disappointment, and failure.
I think what is ultimately on the line in these moments is our sense of self-respect and self-confidence. It still amazes me that people who didn’t grow up overweight and being bullied the way I did, have such fear of trying to lose weight as adults… Fear of looking awkward at the gym… Fear of failing and being disappointed in themselves. Or the people who want to start businesses and they fear the high likelihood of failure. Or a litany of things that people desperately want to try but are too scared of the potential of failure. Oddly enough, it’s all the failure and disappointment I experienced as a young person that has given me the confidence to try really challenging things as an adult (Engineering, The military, Business, Creating Online Content, Mixed Martial Arts etc). I’m confident in my ability to overcome the experience of a broken heart and the pain of failing, so I don’t let that possibility stop me from trying things.
It’s like being afraid of getting hit in Martial Arts. It’s perfectly logical to be afraid of getting hit, but if you never spar and test your skills in a live scenario, you are unlikely to get significantly better. The key is to not let fear control you. In our case here, not letting the fear of heartbreak cause us to play small in life is what we are trying to control. Use the fear to make you disciplined. Use your fear to help you acknowledge risk. Use your fear to help you come up with an alternative plan should the first one fall through. Use the fear to make you wise enough to imagine the worst case scenario and how you’ll mitigate that situation. Use the fear to help you be vigilant and grateful for every moment you get to chase your vision. Let pain, losing, and heartbreak, make you better.
We’re going to experience negative emotions in life no matter what we do. In my opinion, we might as well experience them while trying to live the life we want to live.
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Travis Daigle 