How Do You Find Purpose in Life?

How Do You Find Purpose in Life?

The older I get, the more I’m reminding myself that my sense of purpose doesn’t have to come from my particular job role or title.  This is part of me rewriting my story of what it means to have a successful life.  

But it does make sense that much of our identity would be tied to our job.  Afterall, we spend so much of our lives at work.  It’s reasonable to ask ourselves if what we are doing on a daily basis is purposeful.  It seems trite, but what I am really learning to focus on is the impact that I am having on others in any given environment.  Therefore, my purpose in any situation is to have a positive influence and be a source of light and laughter, regardless of what we are doing.  Thinking about purpose in this way makes it much more accessible as a concept, compared to how I have thought about it historically. 

Before we go on, let me define ‘purpose’ as I am using it here.  When I think about purpose I think of having the presence of two factors:  genuine interest and a sense of contribution to the well-being of others. 

As a younger man I have often fallen into the belief that purpose needs to equate to me having this outsized impact on millions of people.  I thought I needed to do something big.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve recognized both the value and difficulty of having a positive impact on the people you encounter on a daily basis.  The difficulty being in the effort it takes to keep one’s attitude in a healthy place and be a living example of the principles we espouse.   

When thought about in this way, it actually makes finding purpose really easy.  With the right mindset, purpose is not something you find, it’s something that you recognize you always have and must exercise.  We all will have details that are germane to our individual lives but we can all seek to purposefully have a positive impact on others regardless of where we find our personal and professional lives.  Being a good human being as often as we can, controlling our urges, remaining grateful, communicating empathetically and honestly, and being reliable are all simple enough to access as ideas but hard to achieve as regular behaviors.  As with many things we want in life, maybe the idea of having purpose is easy to understand and hard to execute.  Furthermore, we must contend with the temptation to compare our own lives to that of others in the midst of the social media era.  This means it’s easier to fall into the belief that purpose needs to be this big thing (that we see others doing) rather than being the simple actions that make up our everyday lives.

I talked a bit about my struggles with comparison in the last article.  In times past my focus on my lack of a prestigious career and a high income has caused me to miss the opportunities I have to positively influence others.  It’s so ironic because that’s the whole point of the writing and the speaking I’ve been doing for the last 11 years.  Even if we limit this idea to my fellow security guards, my pursuit of fitness and martial arts are both powerful examples to be held up among others.  Up until the last year, I hadn’t thought about my job in that manner.  I look back and realize that even though I wasn’t thinking about it, I was still impacting people through the example of my lifestyle when I first became a security guard.  However, I truly felt like I had zero purpose in the work.  Now, I try to remember that every time I exist in a space with another human being, I have the opportunity to lift that person through my words and actions.  This is easy to forget and it’s extremely easy to trivialize because…  

We’re supposed to have millions of followers…

We’re supposed to have millions of dollars…  

We’re supposed to be well known…

We had much bigger dreams when we were younger…

Not that there’s anything wrong with having any of these things, they’re just rare and while people work hard for them, they are also a function of luck which we can’t control.  Going back to my definition of purpose, I think most people would say that they’re interested in being a good person and most people would say they enjoy having a sense of contribution to others.  Fortunately, the former seems to handle the latter.  For me, having a simple job as a security guard, being a Martial Artist, being a writer, being a Husband/Son/Friend are all situations where I can have a positive impact.  In each area, I am challenged daily on what it means to be a good human being.  

The point of this article is to encourage us all to remember that purpose is right there around us everyday regardless of fame, title, or socioeconomic status.  I think as time moves forward and technology continues to change how we communicate, having the skill to be self-aware and recognize the impact we have on others, no matter how few, will become increasingly important.  

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