The Lost Art of Boredom

I’ve been using the last couple of months to reflect on a cycle of burnout I have gone through multiple times in the last decade with writing.  As I explained in my last post, much of that burnout has been correlated with the use of social media.  I’ve realized that the primary reason creating content on social media conflicts with my habits as a writer is because of the fact that I like simplicity and the diversification into multiple forms of creativity (video, audio, pictures, etc.) dilutes my efforts in the one I am most concerned with, writing.  When I’m making videos, posting to 3-4 different platforms, I’m podcasting, I’m looking for opportunities to speak, and I’m writing… on top of a full time job, training martial arts 2-3x/week, doing my home-based fitness routine 7x/week, cooking/cleaning around the house, trying to be a good husband/son/friend… Damn!  No wonder I get exhausted.

The last couple months has also given me time to reflect deeper on the gains in physical ability I have made in my body over the last 10 years.  The theme of the last decade of my physical fitness training has been a focus on fewer movements and patiently aggregating time/repetition in those movements.  This coupled with adequate rest has me more athletic in my early 40’s than I’ve ever been.  I’m excited about what my 50 year old self will be able to do.  

Doing fewer movements allows me to gain more mastery in those movements.  Doing fewer movements means improved recovery in between training sessions which means a higher quality of effort in the successive training session.  

For a decade I’ve thought like that with my fitness and I’ve advocated that others do the same.  It’s not right for everyone but for those of us who crave simplicity, it’s fantastic.  The last 2 months have helped me realize that I need to treat writing the same way:  focus on the one form of creativity, non-fiction writing.

I recognize that some people thrive on multiple modes of creation and multiple platforms of display.  This isn’t a blanket recommendation that everyone begin to cut off their use of social media or pare their life down to a few simple behaviors.  This is simply a recommendation to explore your digital consumption/creation habits and assess whether they are helping or hurting your productivity.  My brain seems to function better when my focus is narrow.  Here are two specific takeaways I’ve had from the last couple months that might help others think about their digital consumption habits:

Social Media Marketing Myth

The first time I got paid to speak I was given $1,500.00 to talk about myself for 45 minutes.  At that time I didn’t have a book and I didn’t have a steady income.  $1,500.00 is significantly more than I take home in a 2 week paycheck now.  For the longest time I kept thinking that if I could just get 2 paid speeches a month I would be golden.  I wouldn’t need side jobs.  I could focus more on writing.  It would be a dream.  

As I sought out advice on finding more paid opportunities, many well-meaning individuals would say, “You gotta be on Social Media!”  What’s so funny to think about now is that the paid gig I just described came from an individual seeing me speak for free at a separate event.  It’s obvious in hindsight but, if you’ve got a couple thousand dollars to give to a speaker for an event you’re planning, the best way to have confidence that you are spending that money wisely is to see that person speak live or get a recommendation from someone you trust who’s seen them speak live.  

To be fair, you can do the same thing with social media.  I can post videos of me speaking to large crowds but there are a few caveats with this strategy.  First, is the lighting going to be good for the video?  Is the video/audio recording equipment I use going to interfere with the microphone I’m using for the live audience?  Will I be able to get permission from the group to record the presentation and have some of the audience be in the video?  If I get the video, how good are my video editing skills to make the right type of short form content for various platforms?  Now, I’m not just a writer and a speaker, I’m also a videographer.  That may be fine for some people but not me.

The story that we tell one another around marketing products and services in the present day is that social media is the only answer to getting new customers.  My contention is that social media is one method among many.  The reality is probably that social media feels like the easiest method because the barrier to entry is low.  Also, social media feeds us vanity metrics such as ‘like’ count, number of followers/subscribers, comments, shares, etc.  Then  we see other people have huge success on social media (all though we don’t know what the quality of their real life is like) and we feel like we can do it as well.  So we end up chasing this ‘ghost’ of followers and monetization.  However, every story of content creators I’ve ever heard that got a large following on social media always describes the journey as taking at least 5 years of focused consistent effort on one platform with one type of content.  So yeah, you can get big from social media but you can also get big from word of mouth.  Either method will involve a long period of time staying focused on getting incrementally better at whatever it is you’re creating.

Falling into believing this story of social media being the answer to my marketing problems has on several occasions in the last decade caused me to pull my concentration from my efforts to be a better writer.  I’ve still managed to get better as a writer but it’s come time for me to really commit to writing everyday for the rest of my life and letting the chips fall where they may in terms of my message spreading.  Yes, social media could push me further but if using it crushes my creativity then it seems best to focus on becoming a better writer and let word-of-mouth do the rest.

Digital Distraction

Have you ever noticed how much you reach for your phone when you’re in a line, or trying to sit and read, or even on the toilet?  No, I don’t use social media, but I do have a smartphone.  Email, podcasts, and searching Indeed for new job opportunities are activities I’ve found myself perpetually reaching for my iphone in order to engage in.  During this 2 month break I’ve realized that I have gotten somewhat irritated with my phone.  There are times I find myself wanting to smash it.  I would think, “I’m not on social media!  Why is this thing still upsetting me so much?!”  I think it’s the lack of boredom.

With podcasts, email, and job searching I can fill up every little empty moment of my day.  I can convince myself that all of it is good behavior because I’m reading articles and listening to podcasts related to self improvement or educating myself about various topics I’m interested in.  I’m being productive, right?  The problem is that all this distracts me from my own internal dialogue.  It distracts me from being alone with myself which is an essential part of self-reflection and developing self-awareness.  The frustration with my phone seems to be tied to a sincere desire to be disconnected for some portion of my day.  

It’s almost as if the time with technology creates an intellectual clog in my ability to focus and produce writing.  Several months back I was working through some online certificates in order to explore jobs in the tech space.  I got half way through three different certifications and stopped because I got tired of the screen.  I’ve also been struggling to write consistently for the last year.  I’m wondering if the lack of dwell time due to the constant engagement with my phone is a part of these issues.  I don’t know for sure but I’m taking measures to reduce engagement with my phone.  Again, maybe you’ll find some helpful ideas for yourself in this:

• At night I don’t keep my phone by the bed unless my wife is out of town and, even then, I keep it across the room (in times past my phone would be the last thing I looked at before sleep and the first thing I looked at in the morning)
• As a security guard I can binge-listen to podcasts.  Now I restrict myself to one per day and I’m making use of the rest of the time to build my boredom muscles, increase reflection and self-awareness, and allow my thoughts to crystallize on topics I’m writing about.
• In the morning, I’m making myself write for an hour before I check my email.  I also took the email app off of my phone.

I began to notice a better overall sense of well being almost immediately when I started keeping the phone away from my bed.  That’s intensified in the last few days due to enacting restrictions with podcast and email time.  Most importantly, I’m back to writing everyday which is something that I value intensely.

Back to Boredom

I’ve taken an inventory of my entire life and I’ve cut several things away.  I’ve simplified my fitness program even more and reduced my training frequency in martial arts.  I’m practicing speaking but I am not seeking new opportunities to speak.  I’m hoping that as I build momentum with a focus on writing, I’ll return to some of these things in the future but for now I want to focus on showing up consistently and doing a few things well.  

I’ve found myself breathing a sigh of relief as I’ve let certain things go.  It’s like I was waiting to give myself permission to trust my own instincts.  I think we have to remember that not long ago (The 80’s), having a home computer was a rare thing.  Furthermore, having a mobile phone was rare.  And, we were fine.  We talked to each other.  We still were able to access entertainment when we wanted it.  We still found our way around the city.  Importantly, we also were more comfortable with boredom and having time where there was no music to play, nobody around to talk with, and nothing to do.  I don’t think we realize what that empty time away from constant stimulation did in terms of the quality of our mental and emotional health.

I heard someone suggest that a way to bring this downtime back into our lives without taking extreme steps is to begin scheduling short 5-15 minute blocks into our days where we don’t do anything.  No phone, no music, no television, no internet, no reading, no tasks… just walk, stand, or sit there with your own thoughts for 5-15 minutes.  

Give your brain a break.  Give yourself a chance to notice yourself.

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Thank You for reading.

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