Everybody’s energy is not the same. Some people are high energy and some people are low energy. Some people are introverts and some are extroverts. Personalities are different and the range of individual experiences that cause each one of us to approach life the way we approach it, is infinite.
I’m a person who has a pretty high threshold for quirky personalities but I’ve come to the fundamental conclusion that there are two things that I can not deal with on a consistent basis from another person: pessimism and a lack of ownership. When I wasn’t trying to accomplish the herculean task of making it big as a speaker and character development coach… when I wasn’t trying to become an accomplished author… when I wasn’t trying to see the value in consistently putting out high quality video/podcast/written content on a regular basis, for free… When I wasn’t trying to do these very difficult tasks, I could handle people’s pessimism and I could tolerate people playing the blame game for their dissatisfaction with life. In the last year I have become incredibly sensitive to both of these behaviors and I have had to let relationships go because of it.
I don’t consider these people to be my enemy and I know that they didn’t, and never did anything to intentionally thwart my efforts as an entrepreneur. However, I have learned from a litany of other difficult challenges that one has to keep their head in the game in order to adapt to challenges and, ultimately, overcome them. When people allow themselves to be dominated by their own fears and anxieties without even attempting to detach from their emotions and gain control over their thoughts, there is a certain kind of cynicism and hopelessness about life in general that begins to permeate their language. It’s okay to be frustrated, to be afraid, to be anxious etc. I’ve felt and continue to feel all those things on this journey of trying to create a sustainable business. But, I refuse to be dominated by those emotions to the point where the only thing that I have for others is what’s wrong in life. To the point where people don’t want to celebrate things with me because I have a way putting a grey tinge on everything worth celebrating.
I’ve experienced trauma in my life in a multitude of ways: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and so on… I refuse to become a victim to that trauma and I refuse to let others hold me hostage to it. It’s cliche, but your circle of close friends and family, matters. The people you spend most of your time with shouldn’t be blind supporters of every decision you make, but they also shouldn’t perpetually undercut every inclination you have to engage a challenging endeavor.
Change is challenging. It takes persistent optimism to continually engage the ups and downs of change. It would behoove all of us who desire personal growth to surround ourselves with those who exude resilience and spur us on in the fight to be our best self, because it is a fight. This, rather than surrounding ourselves by those who seem to always have a reason to justify deviating from the difficult path. Again, it doesn’t mean making an enemy out of pessimistic people. We love them too. However, it does mean loving yourself enough to protect your dreams and sometimes that means letting go of those closest to you. People you love deeply. People that love you deeply.
I wouldn’t dare tell you that this is an easy thing to do. I’ve had to do it several times in life with both family and very close friends. It can be incredibly painful on both sides. It’s also incredibly freeing and I ain’t goin’ backwards for anyone!